An Incomplete Guide to Raising and Caring for Your Gemstone Orphan

If you just adopted a Gemstone Orphan, you need to read this book.

If you haven’t yet adopted a Gemstone Orphan, you need to read this book to eliminate any anxiety or fear you may have of adopting a Gemstone Orphan.

If you have no intentions of ever adopting a Gemstone Orphan but want to read this book, go ahead. But be warned; this book could change your whole outlook on the concept of Gemstone adoption.

If you hate all gemstones, orphan or otherwise, and still want to read this book, we wouldn’t dream of stopping you. But you might want to seriously consider psychiatric counseling. You may have been startled by a string of tiger-eye beads as a baby or were the victim of a rare, but still frightening, feral agate attack while playing near a gravel road as a child. You need to bring these deep-seated fears out into the open. Cryslaphobia (a fear of gemstones) is real, but curable. And if anyone can get us the website address for some institute working on a long-term solution to the problem of cryslaphobia, please let us know, and we will be the first to donate a dollar to the cause.

In the meantime, everyone needs to read The Incomplete Guide to Raising and Caring for Your Gemstone Orphan.